2009-02-06

8 hours for everyone

If you have to stay late at work, Barack Obama will add extra hours to your day.



He knows the importance of a good night's sleep.
Just make sure you're in bed by seventeen o'clock.

2009-02-05

tiny idiots

By his second term, Barack Obama will have resequenced our DNA so that we grow in proportion to the extent of our knowledge. The idiots of our country will be like tiny dolls we can pick up and put in our pockets.

2009-02-04

lucky ducky

Barack Obama will prevent this from happening.

2009-02-02

phenomobamology

Barack Obama will save the publishing industry by ordering ten thousand copies of every brilliant but unprofitable book and sending them to the developing world.


Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man phenomenology and he will eat
with an awareness of his own role in the perception
of flavor which doesn't exceed the bounds of
the experience as it is given to him.